i did not cut my hair… again
I was a short-haired girly throughout my junior year. It was the first time that I tried that hairstyle since I always had a long hair on the past years.
Whenever my hair would get nearly past my shoulders, I would always ask my mother to cut it short or go to my favorite salon. I would always think that I was being bothered by my hair because of the temperature in our country, or I just did not want to tie it up as it takes too much time for me, or just loved seeing myself in short hair.
Later on, I became fed up with it. Yet, it does not mean that I stopped doing it. It was constantly on my mind that I had to cut my hair when it got longer. It became a habit. It became a routine. I kept doing it even though I did not like it on myself anymore. I kept doing it not because the people wanted to, but because I became used to it.
And some habits were hard to break.
But not breaking these may break us instead.
Some cycles in our lives may take a lot for us to end. We need to sharpen that knife that serves as our courage to cut those ties that hold us back from being free. You may bleed yourself in the process, but not doing so will still cause wounds that will worsen and become more painful.
Breaking bad patterns is painful, but freeing. It is like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel without knowing that you were inside a tunnel for a long time not until you acknowledge it, and it is a vital step to achieve that courage. Accept that you were stuck in a rut. Accept that you fell for those bad habits — and forgive yourself after.
When vacation started before our senior year, I talked to my friends. I expressed my innermost thoughts and feelings without even knowing that I was carrying those for years. I have been doing it for a long time, but I do not know how to stop it, so I acknowledged and accepted that it was unhealthy for me. Then one day, I saw that light by the power of acceptance and courage.
The first day of our senior year started. I looked in the mirror and stared at my hair which was nearly past my shoulders. I tied it up in a bun.
I did not cut my hair… again.
And I am not only talking about my hair.
